I Chose This Life – Do I Have The Right To Moan?

A post I recently published on the wonderful Meetothermums.

From the moment you find out you are expecting your first child life changes. Your world is turned upside down whether you planned your pregnancy or not, fast forward 9 months when you have your beautiful bundle of squishiness in your arms and you are on cloud nine strolling along with your pram, all the well wishes and kind compliments keep flooding in and you are proud.

However, if you choose to become a stay-at-home mother you undertake a role of many:-

  1. Cook
  2. Cleaner
  3. Maid
  4. Nurse
  5. Bottom/nose wiper
  6. Agony Aunt
  7. Doormat

The list goes on and on but you get the idea, I know working mothers also cover the above day in day out, I’m not saying that only stay-at-home mums carry out these duties but our days are very different. When I chose to stay at home with my first child I had no idea what I was doing, as well as looking after her I had to keep on top of laundry, chores, food shopping and other house work. The balance was overwhelming and I was stressed, worn out, drained from constant cries and demands from this little person who had no idea how to take care of herself – I was the mum and had to take care of her. But did I have a right to moan about my day as I was a stay-at-home parent?

Some would say no, I don’t know why you are moaning when all you have to do is stay at home all day, you don’t know how lucky you are. Others would say yes, I still don’t really know the answer myself. I often feel guilty about complaining that I am finding looking after 2 young children hard, that the house is a tip, that I forgot to buy milk, that the floor needs hoovering but I’m too tired to do it. But why aren’t I allowed to express my feelings and frustrations about how my day is going – you complain about your day at the office.

When I left work to stay at home I kind of saw that as my new job and understood that this new role would have a list of different duties to undertake. It is still a job but one that I don’t get paid for and that for me is my biggest issue I have. I don’t bring in any money so why do I have the right to moan that I’m tired, have too many chores to do, that I hate doing the school run in torrential rain, that I’m fed up with meeting the demands of my children who treat me like a slave and snap at me if I’m not getting them a drink right that second, that I’m worried about their day at school if they are tired or under the weather.

I’m a stay-at-home mum, do I have a right to moan about these things?



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