Monster Mum

Monster mum arrives once a month. She suddenly sneaks up on me and the entire family take cover (I don’t blame them). The daily goings on of monster mum are different from one day to the next, she starts by feeling a little prickly, a bit annoyed and not quite right. By day 3 she’s in full on rage/shouty mum mode and nothing can make her happy – even other people breathing irritates the crap out of her, making her want to run away and hide in a cave.

There are various symptoms of Monster Mum:-


Crying for no reason

Feeling extremely sad and low for no reason

Monster munching every single morsel she can find (crisps, dry cereal, biscuits, fizzy sweets, cheese)

Feeling anxious and wanting to hide from the entire world

Wanting to rip someone’s head off for just being near her

Night sweats, waking up with hair that resembles Annie

Self doubt and self loathing

Bloating – oh good lord, the bloat is real!

Wanting to clean

Hating the world, everyone is obviously against her

Screaming at her children and wanting them to just bloody do as they are told

These are just a few feelings and symptoms of Monster Mum – sounds delightful doesn’t she!? Thankfully, she only stays for around 7 – 10 working days (that’s long enough) and then naffs off again until next month. Although she does leave some of her feelings behind so sadly this mum can not feel happy 100% of the time. I would say there are only around 7 days if that out of the month that I actually relax and am happy mum again and that is heartbreaking. My hormones are all over the shop most of the time I’m up, down, up, down constantly. But when Monster Mum leaves the building I do sigh a slight relief as she is really not nice.

I’m sure most women will relate to the above…


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