I’ve woken up with the worst mum guilt today. Actually it started yesterday, I hate to say it but I was so glad when it was bedtime for my two. They are both at an age where Amelie has the attitude of a teenager and Charlie is in the “silly stage” of growing up.
Both were so intense I thought my head was going to explode. I did have a mega headache yesterday which was amplified by their high pitch screams. They seem even more demanding just lately literally barking orders at me and getting so stroppy when I refuse to pander to their every whim. I know it is my fault as they have been so spoilt by me doing everything for them, they’ve become lazy, ungrateful and I’m trapped. It isn’t like they are babies or toddlers any more, both are at school and cope just fine during school hours but seem to turn into devil children when they come home.
The thing that grinds me down the most and I’m sure every parent out there will agree is the not listening to a word I say. Whether it is asking them to do something, to calm down or just chatting to them – they tune me out. I must get on their nerves so much constantly nagging them but when they shout and sulk I’ve got no sympathy for them. I do wonder sometimes what I must have done for them to be so vile (verbally) and nasty to me. There’s no point in shouting at them or making empty threats, I’ve tried taking things away from them, not letting them do the things they like and a reward chart – nothing works. I think I need Super Nanny or a course on parenting for dummies for myself.
Everything is a competition between them at the minute from who is the first to get their shoes on, wins. To goodness knows what else they bicker about, everything is a battle – is that just siblings? I don’t remember bickering with my sister as much as my children do, we did have the odd fisty cuff and would dig our nails into each other but that’s what sisters did. The arguing and squabbling is getting too much but apart from separating them for life I just don’t know what to do, it is really getting me down.
I’m always on the defensive side with them and snap back at them which is not fair and not right. They tested the boundaries something rotten yesterday and even though we had a nice weekend I was left feeling like a terrible mother. One of the worst things they love to do is scream like wild animals when they get in the car, they mess around and wind each other up but are so loud it makes driving anywhere difficult. If one has something to do the other wants that and vice versa, you cannot keep them occupied.
I’m not sure what the point of putting this rant out there was but I’d love to know if you have any suggestions on discipline as I’m struggling and it is making me a horrible mum. I don’t want to bellow at my children or to be that impatient. I want to remain calm and enjoy our time together as they are really lovely children, I don’t realise sometimes how well behaved and well mannered they can be especially when we are out and about. I need to find that balance at home and possibly change my parenting all together.