Lets rewind to the day I found out I was pregnant. Prior to this day I had been experiencing painful stabbing pains in my pelvic area and needing to wee tons. I had this feeling before so booked myself an appointment with the Doctor as I thought it was a UTI. At my appointment the Doctor took a sample of my urine to test, there were no signs of any infection so she threw my sample down the sink. She then asked if I could be pregnant, I thought what a stupid question to ask of course I’m not. But, thinking about it there was no reason I couldn’t be as I wasn’t on any contraception, we had discussed having children and were technically “seeing what happened” meaning if it happens great if it doesn’t that’s okay. She told me to get a pregnancy test so that is what I did.
As soon as I left the surgery I raced to Boots and bought a Clear Blue test. I proceeded to pee on the stick in the most glamorous setting ever – a stinky public toilet. I didn’t hang around in there long enough to look at the results. I went back to my car, took the test out of the shopping bag and stared at it in disbelief. PREGNANT 3 – 4 WEEKS – oh shit! I started to shake and had a little cry to myself in the carpark. Back in the day when I was “working” I used to pick Mr K up from his office so that’s where I headed. As soon as he got in the car I blurted out ‘I’m pregnant’ and I cried. I didn’t believe that I was pregnant so took another 5 tests just to make sure.
When you find out you are pregnant for the first time you go through so many mixed emotions, some highs and lows. I loved my job at the time, we were due to fly out to Barcelona for Mr K’s 30th birthday and I was quite content with how things were going in my life. I will admit that I was really happy to be expecting but also really scared and sometimes thought my whole life was over. I would never be able to go out drinking again, my whole body would change and I’d get fat, I would have to leave the job I worked hard to get and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy our holiday. All of which were such selfish, self obsessed thoughts that entered my head but I knew no different.
Fast forward to our first scan which was at 9 weeks, as soon as I saw that little tiny heartbeat all my selfish thoughts and fears melted away. I was growing this teeny soul inside of me and I wanted to protect it from all the nasty things I could. I am a born worrier anyway, I worry when I have nothing to worry about that is just me unfortunately. I worried throughout the whole of my pregnancy. I had a bleed at 16 weeks which scared the crap out of me, I was a frequent visitor to the Maternity Ward over the 41+10 days that I was pregnant.
When we were in Barcelona I fainted on the beach – cringe! I had just gone to the loo and felt the most terrible stomach pains and came over all funny. I sat down in a bar on the beach and everything started to go black, people’s voices were all muffled. I had never fainted in my life and it was scary. There was a foreign ambulance crew assisting me I had no idea what they were saying, they just told me to go and get checked out when I got home and to stay out of the sun for the rest of the day – helpful!
At my 12 week scan we got to see for the first time this active little person who had been growing inside of me. 10 fingers 10 toes, a healthy heart and all of her organs. I felt so lucky and so blessed to be able to carry this child. As I mentioned before I was at the Maternity Ward a fair bit, you are concerned about everything. The Midwife always told me if you don’t feel the baby moving for a certain amount of time just ring the ward and get it checked. It is definitely better to be safe and put your mind at ease.
I found pregnancy quite easy at times and would often forget that I was pregnant. It did exhaust me though, it was hard (well, I thought at the time) working full time and lugging this extra weight around with me. The most special thing for me was being at work in a boring team meeting when everyone was trying to get their point across and I’m sat there feeling this baby having a party in my tummy. Wriggling and kicking and no-one else has a clue what you are feeling, it is so special.
During my second trimester Mr K and I were moving house, we were living with his mum at the time and buying our very own home. We completed and got the keys, now the work really started. We totally gutted our new bungalow we spent all our spare time there decorating and getting things how we wanted them. I remember one day working on the bungalow all day, we had to nip to Tool Station to pick something up. Upon Mr K driving us there I felt this all too familiar feeling like I was going to faint and sure enough that’s what happened. So, it was an unexpected trip in an ambulance to Exeter Hospital where I found out I was anaemic and overdoing the decorating. We finally moved in a day before Halloween 2011.
I hope you are still awake and not too bored of my ramblings! I’m going to write a separate post for my birth story as this is long enough.
I loved preparing for the baby, buying furniture for her room and cute newborn clothes from Next. I had picked my change bag and had packed my hospital bag about 50 times. Oh I should say, we had no idea we were having a girl as we didn’t want to find out. I went on maternity leave in the December, I was so sad to be leaving work for just over a year but so excited to start my new journey as a mother. However, I was going to have to wait an extra 10 days to meet my little princess….