Family,  Lifestyle

Honest Motherhood: Sleep Deprived Ramblings

I’m sat here on a Wednesday evening having just put the children to bed. Mr K has gone to the gym and I am feeling utterly exhausted. For the past couple of weeks I have been sickening for something – constant headache, body aches, sinus pain, that horrible drained feeling – you get the idea. I’ve been living on cold and flu tablets but cannot shake this feeling off. It really doesn’t help that the children have been waking super super early and also through the night. When the clocks changed they seemed to be sleeping later and I thought this was it, I would be getting a decent night’s sleep. Oh how wrong I was, for the last 2 weeks both of them have been waking at various points during the night Charlie has taken to waking up at around 2am and staying awake for a couple of hours, and then Amelie will wake up needing the toilet just as he is going back to sleep. She will stay awake then for around an hour by that time my alarm goes off and it is time to face the day.

Yesterday morning Amelie asked both Mr K and I if we had just checked on her as she saw someone poking their head around the door frame. This person had long hair covering their face, they were dressed in grey and had floating feet – holy crap! She also said she saw a white petal floating down from the ceiling when she got into our bed. She said she wasn’t scared and remained really calm when explaining to us. ┬áThis whole description has really unnerved me and last night I had the worst night’s sleep ever.

I was petrified to go into the back of the house all night I had to have every light on. When I finally got into bed my head was under the covers until Charlie came into the room at 1am. I went into the children’s room to sleep in Charlie’s bed as I was worried Amelie would be on her on and something might get her, my thoughts were totally crazy. Anyway, I spent the rest of the night terrified to look at the door and when I did I thought something was going to get me. I must have drifted off at some point because I had the worst nightmares ever. I could feel myself crying out in my sleep but no one heard me, it felt like a ghost was pulling me out of Charlie’s bed and getting me. I woke up in a panic franticly looking around the room for an evil spirit.

Amelie then woke up at 4am for a good hour and a half, just as she fell asleep Charlie woke up. To say I’m exhausted is an understatement, I feel completely drained from my restless night and still horrendously scared to go to sleep tonight. I keep hearing noises and looking for things out of the corner of my eye, I’m scared of the dark and feel helpless. I don’t want the children to pick up on this but the thought of going to bed tonight makes me feel sick with panic.

I may have to have a bottle of wine to get to sleep from now on (joking), I have no idea how to get these crazy thoughts out of my head, I just have a picture in my mind of the girl from The Ring crawling out to get me. I know this all sounds crazy and I’m a loony but I believe in spirits and afterlife, I just hope whatever is in my house isn’t evil and doesn’t want to hurt any of us – I think I’ve watched far too many horror films, ha ha!


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