“Do more of what makes you happy” – isn’t that the saying? It is World Mental Health Day today and this quote got me thinking. For me how I feel inside my head is not just about anxiety or feeling down/depressed, I think mental health covers a vast selection of emotions, feelings, thoughts and physical experiences.
Recently (actually, for the past 6 months) I have been going through a real battle with myself. I don’t know whether it is due to the move and the stress of uprooting our family to a town that we know little about and removing our children from a school they loved, putting them into a new school where we all have to start over again. To be honest the whole selling a house, having no where to live and the pure fear that we will lose the sale and be homeless was utterly emotionally exhausting. That along with there being no spaces (before the summer holidays) for our children to start school, I spent weeks crying into my cuppa. Nothing can prepare you for the unknown – something that is so out of your control. I think things are just catching up with me now and if I’m totally honest, I feel kind of sad for no reason. I’m certainly not home sick as I am not missing the town I used to live in one little bit, but I guess I’m missing normality and our old routine. I know in a few months or even a year I’ll be fine and totally used to our new life but that’s the point, it is all so new and a little daunting. I don’t quite know where I am in life and what I should be doing if that makes any sense.
Now both children are at school, I’m kind of on my own for the first time in nearly 7 years, that’s a lot to deal with. It will all take time to settle into a new life and I’m very excited to see what our future holds. Thankfully, the children have breezed into their new surroundings and absolutely love their new school, which has taken the worry out of that for me.
I decided to start thinking about my mental health and I made a list of all of the things that make me truly happy, some of these were things such as:-
- Enjoying a nice coffee on a Saturday with the kids and Mr K
- Watching the kiddies sleep
- When Charlie says ‘Mummy, I love you’ for no reason whatsoever
- Working out
- Straightening my hair (I can’t help it, I love it and don’t feel like me with Hagrid hair)
- Eating all the cake if I want to
- Taking photos
- Shopping / buying pretty things for the home or children
- Spoiling my children with love and affection (they are only little once)
- Sitting to the table at the weekends enjoying breakfast as a family
- Snuggling on the sofa with the children
You get where I am coming from. Some days I am so wrapped up in the hussle of daily life, school runs, sorting the children out, life admin and all the other things that come my way I forget that I need to be happy too. I’m so concerned with making others happy and content that I forget about me, gosh that sounds so selfish written down but it is true. I don’t want to look back on life when I’m an old lady and wish that I just did the things that made me happy and stop worrying about the small stuff.
Over the last year I have become somewhat of a perfectionist (I’ve always been one to be honest) but since we started our move and the children have gotten a little older I feel myself becoming more and more uptight. I have huge high standards that are not achievable, I expect far too much from the children – I forget they are only 6 and 4, of course they want to be loud and silly some days – I expect far too much from myself. I strive to have the cleanest home, the nicest clothes, I’m always put together but to be honest I’m screaming inside. I feel stressed to the MAX about the mess in the house, that things aren’t going my way, I have to be in control and I hate feeling like it.
I’ve read a few blog posts from some lovely bloggers and it seems I’m not the only one who feels like this. So what if the house is a tip and we have an unexpected guest at the door? So what if my children are making a mess and being silly – that is living. I’ve been feeling like this for ages now and I need to put a stop to it as I’m really not enjoying life, I’m going to try and let the standards slip, to lighten up, to be the “yes” mum (the mum I used to be) and most of all stop sweating the small stuff.
I often say ‘I’m going to put my positive pants on today’ and that gets me in a great mindset but then I forget and start to feel overwhelmed and consumed again. We all need a reminder that life really is too short and we should be grateful for what we have, the important things in my life are Family, Health and Happiness and I am going to try my hardest to do more of what makes me happy – I think we can all relate to that.