Mental health is a really sensitive subject that no one really likes to delve into much. Personally, I get the feeling that if we say how we feel we are labelled as depressed straight away. This isn’t always the case, surely you can feel a certain way but not be depressed?
I wish I could express exactly where I’m at with life right now but I live in a very small town and I know people in my town read my blog, I’m just not comfortable sharing everything and being talked about. I know you’re probably thinking ‘what’s the point in this post then?’. Well, if I don’t get at least some of what’s going on written down I may explode.
I am having a right old battle with myself at the moment, life is upside down (not all negative), the children are nearing the end of preschool and year 1 and to be honest I’m not being very kind to myself. All of these factors build up and up until I feel totally consumed by my emotions, I’m at a cross-road and have no idea where I’m heading, does this make sense?
For once, my battle is not with what is shared on social media (well maybe a tiny bit) but real life goings on. I feel trapped in my minds thoughts and it is utterly exhausting having to go through it every single day, it is starting to affect daily life and I need to put a stop to it. One side of me is being completely irrational, negative and damn right nasty to myself and the other side is clear of negativity. I’m sorry if this is all mumbo jumbo and doesn’t make any sense but I think to those few people who suffer with negative thoughts and anxiety it will make perfect sense.
I guess the point is, I need to make a plan to snap myself out of this funk I’m in as if I told you the real issues I’m having you would more than likely laugh at me. So here are a few changes I’m going to try to make so I can move forward.
Stop comparing myself – I know every man and his dog does this but I’m not talking about comparing myself to people on Instagram. I’m talking about real people who I see every day who look like they have it all – perfect body, perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect life… blah blah blah. I’ve had enough of it and I will make a conscious effort to avoid doing this.
Write down things I like about myself – It will be a short list but I’ll give it a go, ha ha!
Make a list of things I’m grateful for – I am very lucky and need to remember all the things I used to dream about that are now my reality.
Be kind to myself – I think I need to take a few more time outs on my own. Being a full-time stay at home mum is knackering, trying to balance life, housework, being a good mum, making time for everyone and trying to have a little bit of a life yourself takes its toll.
Get more sleep – Easier said than done but a few more early nights is definitely in order. Perhaps when Love Island is over I’ll try my luck at going to bed before 11pm.
Pack the vitamins in – I currently do not take any sort of vitamin supplement but I think I need to.
Self care – I’m going to start reading more positive thinking books and listen to Podcasts (something I’ve never done before) to take my mind off of daily life but also boost my mood.
Set some goals – I have personal goals I’d like to achieve.
Find my way back into blogging – I’ve lost my blogging mojo I think it is in the Caribbean somewhere chilling out. I’ve lost my love for blogging and reading blogs I feel like it is a chore and have nothing interesting to write about. I need my mojo back asap.
This isn’t a ‘feel sorry for me’ post, a ‘my life is sh*t post’ or an attention seeking post at all. I have loads of lovely things happening right now but things are changing and this battle with myself needs to do one. I think it is really important to talk about how I feel (without sharing too much) as I’m sure there are people out there in the same situation as me, we all have our own battles, big or small. I may have a huge smile plastered on my face but inside I’m screaming.